July 7, 2013
As transcendent as the Ananda/traveling experience has been, the fellow karma yogis and I all share a similar worry. Going home.
Environment is stronger than will. We all sought out a spiritual place because we fell out of balance in the lives we were living. Reintegrating back into society with its distractions and temptations is a real threat to the stillness we're working to create in ourselves.
The spiritual path isn't an easy one. It's a constant test of faith, not just in universal energies but also faith that only we truly know what's best for ourselves. Obtaining inner peace isn't a passive process, it is a battle. It's easy to surrender to life's chaos in tumultuous duality, to give in to the ebb and flow of worldly happiness and sadness. In the Bhagavad Gita it describes the constant battle between dark and light within the consciousness of man. But we mustn't repress the dark, we must accept it and outshine the dark with the light. One can never find peace through passivity, it's through the noble fight of overcoming all negative aspects of life and of our consciousness.
In alchemy our consciousness is represented by a dark cave, and our shadow consciousness, (where the negative aspects of ourselves and the things we repress live) is represented by a fierce dragon. We can never kill this dragon, though. We can only hope to tame it to the point where it no longer serves as a threat. After we tame the fierce dragon he is represented as the friendly green dragon.
It takes a determined mind to obtain clarity in the face of duality. Because of the very nature of duality, there is joy in painful experience, and pain in joy. Mostly we discover this in retrospect, but even in immense worldly happiness we can find darkness as we understand the inevitable end to such happiness. Knowledge itself is a source of great pain as well as happiness. Life is a constant roller coaster of ups and downs and we are not easily detached from this relative, cyclical, and contradictory world. It takes a spiritual warrior to drown darkness with light and to also stay detached from worldly happiness and sadness as they understand it is transient. Yogananda said, "A saint is just a sinner who never gave up."
Real joy lays in the application of ones will, in giving, in expansion. In divine bliss there is no opposite. It's complete freedom, overcoming all obstacles in our consciousness where we can thrive in a reality with no boundaries. It's here we can dance along the boarders of parallel realities, feel the pulse of the universe in our cells and understand our power as divine creators.
"Defeat exists, but not suffering. A true warrior knows that when he
loses a battle he is improving the skill with which he wields a sword.
He will be able to fight more skillfully next time. "
Paulo Coelho
Friday, August 23, 2013
Dancing Through Life
July, 1, 2013
The natural builders of Ananda invited us to the Stonehouse to go dancing. They were having an event with all female dj's. I've never danced to electronic music before and... was terrified. I decided to put all my centering work I've been doing at Ananda to the test... and I tried real hard to not make eye contact with anyone. I'd be forced to give an awkward smile and then they'd know I'm totally out of my element. Classic projection, I know.
I sat for a long time on the sidelines watching all kinds of people dance. Some swayed back and forth in their own rhythm, some people were jumping and running around the dance floor, using their whole body. It was so interesting to feel the energy of the music and watch how each individual got lost in it and expressed it in their unique way.
I hoped someone would force me out on the dance floor, but realized it was going to be up to me. Eventually I summoned up the courage to find my own rhythm to this foreign and unpredictable music... the key for me was to close my eyes, suppress judgement and just learn it. I let go into the energy and eventually found my flow.
The interesting thing about electronic music is that it's so unpredictable. The sound changes so suddenly and if you're dancing to it you're forced to adapt really quickly. As the night progressed I got better and faster at adapting to the quick changes and figuring out how to move to the beats I'm unfamiliar with.
I understand how people say life is like a dance. We can learn to surrender to the flow and when life changes abruptly we can learn to adapt quickly to stay in the flow.
Our ability to adapt with life and keep our stillness in times of transition is more than half the battle.
The natural builders of Ananda invited us to the Stonehouse to go dancing. They were having an event with all female dj's. I've never danced to electronic music before and... was terrified. I decided to put all my centering work I've been doing at Ananda to the test... and I tried real hard to not make eye contact with anyone. I'd be forced to give an awkward smile and then they'd know I'm totally out of my element. Classic projection, I know.
I sat for a long time on the sidelines watching all kinds of people dance. Some swayed back and forth in their own rhythm, some people were jumping and running around the dance floor, using their whole body. It was so interesting to feel the energy of the music and watch how each individual got lost in it and expressed it in their unique way.
I hoped someone would force me out on the dance floor, but realized it was going to be up to me. Eventually I summoned up the courage to find my own rhythm to this foreign and unpredictable music... the key for me was to close my eyes, suppress judgement and just learn it. I let go into the energy and eventually found my flow.
The interesting thing about electronic music is that it's so unpredictable. The sound changes so suddenly and if you're dancing to it you're forced to adapt really quickly. As the night progressed I got better and faster at adapting to the quick changes and figuring out how to move to the beats I'm unfamiliar with.
I understand how people say life is like a dance. We can learn to surrender to the flow and when life changes abruptly we can learn to adapt quickly to stay in the flow.
Our ability to adapt with life and keep our stillness in times of transition is more than half the battle.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
A Sense of Community
June 27, 2013
Yesterday was a amazing day. I had the morning off so Tom and I went to Mother Truckers (a health food convenience store) and then down to the Yuba river. Tom is such an interesting guy, he's very soft spoken and at first seems distant but really he's very warm and insightful. We sat on some big rocks by the river and talked about the idea of renunciation and life purpose. We both felt like nothing can be really gained from forced renunciation, that it really creates repression which isn't conducive to evolution. To deny our human nature is to deny an aspect of ourselves instead of accept it. I feel we must learn to open our hearts and love ourselves unconditionally. This means accepting all our weaknesses and "faults".
Later that day a group of us (Clark, Tom, Frank, Celia, Cheni) all went to swimming in the Yuba. We had to climb down a very steep hill down to the river which was full of smooth white rocks and boulders. The river created a little lagoon that was pretty deep and surrounded by rocks and little waterfalls. The water was cold and felt clean and pure. A place for cliff diving too, there was a huge boulder we could jump off into the river. It was scary every. single. time. But so therapeutic.
Later that night Frank and I were on our way to Lotus Lake to do the Gayatri when we ran into Clark. He was on evening shift and someone didn't show up for the shift. The evening shift is the worst one because you can't leave until everything gets done, so we decided to help him. Soon after that Richard stopped by looking for us and asked us if we needed help, but before we said anything he declared he was going to help us anyway. With all of us working together we got it done in record time... but most importantly was while we worked the conversation flowed. We talked about quantum physics, creating our realities, healing, manifestation, and the law of attraction. It's such an amazing feeling to talk freely about the things you're passionate about with people who are equally passionate about it. We shared experiences and knowledge and created knew ideas. Even after the shift we all stayed up half the night talking.
Richard told me about his method of healing called Theta Healing which he learned in Thailand. He helps people reprogram their minds on a subconscious level. He helps take away unwanted agreements and beliefs stored in our subconscious and replaces it with something more productive and positive. He offered to give me a session and I'm very curious to see how it works and learn from him.
It's a world of difference to be surrounded by like-minded friends. We all eat together, joke together, work together, listen to each other. We each have something different to offer in conversation, different perspectives with the same general idea in mind. Even though we all just met, it feels as if we've known each other for years. I'm learning more from the fellow karma yogis than I have in years.
There's talk about all of us starting our own retreat/commune. One that isn't dogmatic or fundamentalist. We'll have pyramids, natural building, and an aquaponics farm. It'll be a place of refuge for the spirit, a place of healing and expansion. The most exciting this is that I really feel we can achieve anything. Anything is possible if you live in the realm of Spirit, follow your heart, and your passion.
Yesterday was a amazing day. I had the morning off so Tom and I went to Mother Truckers (a health food convenience store) and then down to the Yuba river. Tom is such an interesting guy, he's very soft spoken and at first seems distant but really he's very warm and insightful. We sat on some big rocks by the river and talked about the idea of renunciation and life purpose. We both felt like nothing can be really gained from forced renunciation, that it really creates repression which isn't conducive to evolution. To deny our human nature is to deny an aspect of ourselves instead of accept it. I feel we must learn to open our hearts and love ourselves unconditionally. This means accepting all our weaknesses and "faults".
Later that day a group of us (Clark, Tom, Frank, Celia, Cheni) all went to swimming in the Yuba. We had to climb down a very steep hill down to the river which was full of smooth white rocks and boulders. The river created a little lagoon that was pretty deep and surrounded by rocks and little waterfalls. The water was cold and felt clean and pure. A place for cliff diving too, there was a huge boulder we could jump off into the river. It was scary every. single. time. But so therapeutic.
Later that night Frank and I were on our way to Lotus Lake to do the Gayatri when we ran into Clark. He was on evening shift and someone didn't show up for the shift. The evening shift is the worst one because you can't leave until everything gets done, so we decided to help him. Soon after that Richard stopped by looking for us and asked us if we needed help, but before we said anything he declared he was going to help us anyway. With all of us working together we got it done in record time... but most importantly was while we worked the conversation flowed. We talked about quantum physics, creating our realities, healing, manifestation, and the law of attraction. It's such an amazing feeling to talk freely about the things you're passionate about with people who are equally passionate about it. We shared experiences and knowledge and created knew ideas. Even after the shift we all stayed up half the night talking.
Richard told me about his method of healing called Theta Healing which he learned in Thailand. He helps people reprogram their minds on a subconscious level. He helps take away unwanted agreements and beliefs stored in our subconscious and replaces it with something more productive and positive. He offered to give me a session and I'm very curious to see how it works and learn from him.
It's a world of difference to be surrounded by like-minded friends. We all eat together, joke together, work together, listen to each other. We each have something different to offer in conversation, different perspectives with the same general idea in mind. Even though we all just met, it feels as if we've known each other for years. I'm learning more from the fellow karma yogis than I have in years.
There's talk about all of us starting our own retreat/commune. One that isn't dogmatic or fundamentalist. We'll have pyramids, natural building, and an aquaponics farm. It'll be a place of refuge for the spirit, a place of healing and expansion. The most exciting this is that I really feel we can achieve anything. Anything is possible if you live in the realm of Spirit, follow your heart, and your passion.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Sunday Service
June 23, 2013
Woke up this morning to birds chirping and squirrels running around in the leaves. They sound the huge bell gong at 6:30 that creates a vibration throughout the property. I went to the morning yoga/energization/meditation class but I had a very distracted meditation and left after only 15 minutes. After breakfast they had a fire ceremony which wasn't to far off from the vedic fire ceremony I've been to with Amma. It was short but we chanted the same mantra's (different styles) and got to burn our blockages or what we want to manifest in our lives. I meditated a lot during this time and all throughout the Sunday service.
The service was clearly an integration of eastern tradition and traditional Christian service. We sang hymns, but called it chanting. Everything was sung with a harmonium, songs of devotion. Then 4 people dressed in blue that are much like the spiritual priests or nuns of Ananda all sat and channeled "masters" blessings. These people have dedicated their lives to God and Yogananda's teachings and renunciated worldly pleasures like sex and drugs. We all walked up in a line (much like taking communion) and kneeled or sat in front of them as they activated out heart chakra's until they say "Master say's you are free" and then we get up walk to the fire and burn our letter to the universe.
I didn't feel a whole lot when these people blessed me, and I didn't care for the chanting portion of the service. I tried to keep an open mind, but I feel resistance towards the idea of devoting myself to God as something separate from myself, especially when that something is another human being.I believe we are all incarnations of God, so really it's the worship of another human being that I can't feel comfortable with. I see all saints sages and guru's as my friends, and I talk to them as though they are my friends. I don't sing devotional songs to my friends, or worship them. Especially if they've transcended ego and don't care anyway.
After all that I did my service work required of me to stay at Ananda. It consisted of cleaning and restocking, basic maintenance of the Expanding Light.
Later in the day I went for a walk by myself. I walked down to Lotus Lake and it started to rain, so I sat under a tree and watched the ripples in the lake. Under the shelter of tree, watching the raindrops fall around me and seeing the ripples expand in the lake... I contemplated the Cosmic Ocean, non dualism and interconnectedness. I watched some deer roam around in the rain and eventually continued my walk. Being in nature, undisturbed and undistracted reminds me that nothing is without meaning. Being aware to this is to start decoding the messages being sent constantly by the universe.
Woke up this morning to birds chirping and squirrels running around in the leaves. They sound the huge bell gong at 6:30 that creates a vibration throughout the property. I went to the morning yoga/energization/meditation class but I had a very distracted meditation and left after only 15 minutes. After breakfast they had a fire ceremony which wasn't to far off from the vedic fire ceremony I've been to with Amma. It was short but we chanted the same mantra's (different styles) and got to burn our blockages or what we want to manifest in our lives. I meditated a lot during this time and all throughout the Sunday service.
The service was clearly an integration of eastern tradition and traditional Christian service. We sang hymns, but called it chanting. Everything was sung with a harmonium, songs of devotion. Then 4 people dressed in blue that are much like the spiritual priests or nuns of Ananda all sat and channeled "masters" blessings. These people have dedicated their lives to God and Yogananda's teachings and renunciated worldly pleasures like sex and drugs. We all walked up in a line (much like taking communion) and kneeled or sat in front of them as they activated out heart chakra's until they say "Master say's you are free" and then we get up walk to the fire and burn our letter to the universe.
I didn't feel a whole lot when these people blessed me, and I didn't care for the chanting portion of the service. I tried to keep an open mind, but I feel resistance towards the idea of devoting myself to God as something separate from myself, especially when that something is another human being.I believe we are all incarnations of God, so really it's the worship of another human being that I can't feel comfortable with. I see all saints sages and guru's as my friends, and I talk to them as though they are my friends. I don't sing devotional songs to my friends, or worship them. Especially if they've transcended ego and don't care anyway.
After all that I did my service work required of me to stay at Ananda. It consisted of cleaning and restocking, basic maintenance of the Expanding Light.
Later in the day I went for a walk by myself. I walked down to Lotus Lake and it started to rain, so I sat under a tree and watched the ripples in the lake. Under the shelter of tree, watching the raindrops fall around me and seeing the ripples expand in the lake... I contemplated the Cosmic Ocean, non dualism and interconnectedness. I watched some deer roam around in the rain and eventually continued my walk. Being in nature, undisturbed and undistracted reminds me that nothing is without meaning. Being aware to this is to start decoding the messages being sent constantly by the universe.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
California and Ananda
June 22, 2013
My first day at Ananda Village... it's so beautiful.
We made it to Venice Beach, but couldn't find a place to stay. We walked around the boardwalk and I soaked up the ocean breeze thinking about and blessing my mom on her birthday. After driving up the coast til about midnight we pulled over and slept in the car til about 6 a.m.
We drove the long drive to San Fransisco and saw the Golden Gate Bridge which was big and beautiful. The traffic in California was really trying on our patience. It's just one big traffic jam. But we did make up a new word. When you're stuck in traffic and you have to pee... you're in "Peegatory".
I wish we had more time to see the city but we instead decided to make it to Sacramento. Sacramento was a breath of fresh air! I found a vegan/raw food restaurant called Plum Cafe and found my people. The city was beautiful and the people were beautiful. Like a tiny Austin.
I don't have a roommate and I'm really enjoying my alone time. Being alone is so important for me to process and get grounded again. I'm discovering the importance of making decisions by myself without outside influence, trusting my intuition and my heart.
I went to my first Sadhana today. The yoga wasn't challenging but it felt good to stretch and get in touch with my body. We did something called energization which is focusing on and activating all our muscles independently from toes to our head. The idea is to become sensitive to energy and be able to direct energy up our spine and out through our third eye. All the yoga poses were designed to activate certain chakra's as well. After energization and yoga postures we did a 45 minute meditation.
In my meditation I had some divine discourse. I feel more of my fears melting away and less of a need to make excuses. I also had an interesting merging of philosophies. In alchemy it speaks of the feminine energy and the masculine energy and how they separate, purify, and come back together to form a Divine Union, or marriage. Out of this union they produce the philosophers stone which can transmutate lesser materials into gold. It also will give you the elixir of life so you will become immortal. In religion it speaks of the Divine Mother and the Divine Father and we are their children created out of their cosmic love. Guru's are enlightened because they realize this and merge with this divinity and understand their powers of transmutation. Because they realize this they also break free of the cycles of samsara and realize the immortality of the Spirit. All we have to do is realize our divinity and understand our own power is limitless. Boundaries are dissolving...
My first day at Ananda Village... it's so beautiful.
We made it to Venice Beach, but couldn't find a place to stay. We walked around the boardwalk and I soaked up the ocean breeze thinking about and blessing my mom on her birthday. After driving up the coast til about midnight we pulled over and slept in the car til about 6 a.m.
We drove the long drive to San Fransisco and saw the Golden Gate Bridge which was big and beautiful. The traffic in California was really trying on our patience. It's just one big traffic jam. But we did make up a new word. When you're stuck in traffic and you have to pee... you're in "Peegatory".
I wish we had more time to see the city but we instead decided to make it to Sacramento. Sacramento was a breath of fresh air! I found a vegan/raw food restaurant called Plum Cafe and found my people. The city was beautiful and the people were beautiful. Like a tiny Austin.
I don't have a roommate and I'm really enjoying my alone time. Being alone is so important for me to process and get grounded again. I'm discovering the importance of making decisions by myself without outside influence, trusting my intuition and my heart.
I went to my first Sadhana today. The yoga wasn't challenging but it felt good to stretch and get in touch with my body. We did something called energization which is focusing on and activating all our muscles independently from toes to our head. The idea is to become sensitive to energy and be able to direct energy up our spine and out through our third eye. All the yoga poses were designed to activate certain chakra's as well. After energization and yoga postures we did a 45 minute meditation.
In my meditation I had some divine discourse. I feel more of my fears melting away and less of a need to make excuses. I also had an interesting merging of philosophies. In alchemy it speaks of the feminine energy and the masculine energy and how they separate, purify, and come back together to form a Divine Union, or marriage. Out of this union they produce the philosophers stone which can transmutate lesser materials into gold. It also will give you the elixir of life so you will become immortal. In religion it speaks of the Divine Mother and the Divine Father and we are their children created out of their cosmic love. Guru's are enlightened because they realize this and merge with this divinity and understand their powers of transmutation. Because they realize this they also break free of the cycles of samsara and realize the immortality of the Spirit. All we have to do is realize our divinity and understand our own power is limitless. Boundaries are dissolving...
Phoenix
June 20, 2013
We're cruising along in California finally. We stayed in Phoenix last night with Franks friend, Jerry. I don't think I've ever met anyone more motivated and driven to make money. In his reality time is money, so... he spends all his waking (and probably some sleeping) minutes networking or working on his business. Phoenix in general seemed to hold that same energy. Consumerism, business, money, status, money, cars, more money. It was really miles away from the peace and stillness of little Taos. I could definitely feel the energetic difference, and how it affected me. Environment really is stronger than will. It's so important what we surround ourselves with, and who we surround ourselves with. But as Jerry would say, "It's your life bro, do what you want."
Today is mom's birthday. It seems so fitting that I will be finding my way to the ocean today. She's such a child of the ocean, and it makes sense. The ocean is so healing and maternal, they must see a soul mate in each other.
We're cruising along in California finally. We stayed in Phoenix last night with Franks friend, Jerry. I don't think I've ever met anyone more motivated and driven to make money. In his reality time is money, so... he spends all his waking (and probably some sleeping) minutes networking or working on his business. Phoenix in general seemed to hold that same energy. Consumerism, business, money, status, money, cars, more money. It was really miles away from the peace and stillness of little Taos. I could definitely feel the energetic difference, and how it affected me. Environment really is stronger than will. It's so important what we surround ourselves with, and who we surround ourselves with. But as Jerry would say, "It's your life bro, do what you want."
Today is mom's birthday. It seems so fitting that I will be finding my way to the ocean today. She's such a child of the ocean, and it makes sense. The ocean is so healing and maternal, they must see a soul mate in each other.
Monday, July 15, 2013
The Church of the Immaculate Conception
June 19, 2013
It's been one week on the road, but I feel light years away. Everything has flowed perfectly. After the silly timeshare presentation I felt inclined to see the Church of the Immaculate Conception. I've been reading Paulo Coelho and in his book he speaks about that religion and returning back to the Divine Feminine. The church was big and beautiful. I still feel a lot of resistance towards crosses and how Jesus is portrayed in churches, and religion in general, but I'm developing a relationship with the feminine side of god. I think it will open my heart more and help me heal all the emotional wounds I've inflicted on myself.
I found the alter of Our Lady of Guadalupe and for the first time I knelt and prayed to the Divine Mother in a serious fashion. I became very aware of the energy of kneeling in a place so many other had knelt when confused or suffering. All those people project their questions, prayers and energy onto this statue representing something divine and holy. It's beautiful, sacred and powerful... but ultimately an illusion. It's the power of our energy directed and focused that creates. We are all divine little buddha bodies, unrecognized and in denial.
"Everyone in the world is seeking one thing only: Bliss. That is because all being are manifestations of God's Bliss. Most people, however, translate that soul-desire into human terms: they seek emotional happiness. The only thing to which there is no opposite is inner Bliss." - Swami Kriyananda
It's been one week on the road, but I feel light years away. Everything has flowed perfectly. After the silly timeshare presentation I felt inclined to see the Church of the Immaculate Conception. I've been reading Paulo Coelho and in his book he speaks about that religion and returning back to the Divine Feminine. The church was big and beautiful. I still feel a lot of resistance towards crosses and how Jesus is portrayed in churches, and religion in general, but I'm developing a relationship with the feminine side of god. I think it will open my heart more and help me heal all the emotional wounds I've inflicted on myself.
I found the alter of Our Lady of Guadalupe and for the first time I knelt and prayed to the Divine Mother in a serious fashion. I became very aware of the energy of kneeling in a place so many other had knelt when confused or suffering. All those people project their questions, prayers and energy onto this statue representing something divine and holy. It's beautiful, sacred and powerful... but ultimately an illusion. It's the power of our energy directed and focused that creates. We are all divine little buddha bodies, unrecognized and in denial.
"Everyone in the world is seeking one thing only: Bliss. That is because all being are manifestations of God's Bliss. Most people, however, translate that soul-desire into human terms: they seek emotional happiness. The only thing to which there is no opposite is inner Bliss." - Swami Kriyananda
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Grand Canyon and Sedona
June 18, 2013
Currently waiting in line to get into the Grand Canyon State park. We drove a lot yesterday, all the way to Flagstaff. We ended up getting a cheap hotel off Route 66 and the guy who worked at the desk was a fellow Austinite. He had moved to Flagstaff just a few months ago to get more serious about mountain biking. Following his dream!
The Grand Canyon
Words fail to describe. Grand is even an understatement. This place is so powerful. One day I'll come back here and hike down into the canyon.
From the Grand Canyon we drove to Sedona, another unbelievably beautiful place. We drove down into a canyon with red rocks towering over us. As the light changes the rocks shift colors from shades of brown to shades of bright and deep red. At times the canyon walls look like they're on fire.
We stopped to ask someone about campsites and while Frank was talking to this guy I went off to take pictures. When I came back Frank was getting talked into some timeshare deal to stay in this really nice hotel for $30 ($15 a piece) if we showed up to the timeshare presentation the next day. We accepted his proposal and when we found the hotel it was on a cliff facing the big bright red rocks. I could have stared at the rocks changing colors forever, and maybe I would have found God in them.
After a while we decided to go explore Sedona, only to find everything closes super early. The streets were deserted, so... we occupied them. We started running barefooted and laughing all over the empty quiet town like children playing hide and seek on their neighborhood street. We never found anything open, but that doesn't matter. All is well.
Currently waiting in line to get into the Grand Canyon State park. We drove a lot yesterday, all the way to Flagstaff. We ended up getting a cheap hotel off Route 66 and the guy who worked at the desk was a fellow Austinite. He had moved to Flagstaff just a few months ago to get more serious about mountain biking. Following his dream!
The Grand Canyon
Words fail to describe. Grand is even an understatement. This place is so powerful. One day I'll come back here and hike down into the canyon.
From the Grand Canyon we drove to Sedona, another unbelievably beautiful place. We drove down into a canyon with red rocks towering over us. As the light changes the rocks shift colors from shades of brown to shades of bright and deep red. At times the canyon walls look like they're on fire.
We stopped to ask someone about campsites and while Frank was talking to this guy I went off to take pictures. When I came back Frank was getting talked into some timeshare deal to stay in this really nice hotel for $30 ($15 a piece) if we showed up to the timeshare presentation the next day. We accepted his proposal and when we found the hotel it was on a cliff facing the big bright red rocks. I could have stared at the rocks changing colors forever, and maybe I would have found God in them.
After a while we decided to go explore Sedona, only to find everything closes super early. The streets were deserted, so... we occupied them. We started running barefooted and laughing all over the empty quiet town like children playing hide and seek on their neighborhood street. We never found anything open, but that doesn't matter. All is well.
Reflections in Taos
June 17, 2013
Sadly leaving Taos. We spend arguably way too much time in the Cow Cafe, but so it goes when you're going with the Flow.
As my heart is opening I feel my words and insights flow effortlessly as well. I feel as if everyone I encounter, even briefly, has a twinkle in their eye as if we both are sharing some unwritten and collective truth... Where my spirit recognizes their spirit and we hold the moment together.
Sadly leaving Taos. We spend arguably way too much time in the Cow Cafe, but so it goes when you're going with the Flow.
As my heart is opening I feel my words and insights flow effortlessly as well. I feel as if everyone I encounter, even briefly, has a twinkle in their eye as if we both are sharing some unwritten and collective truth... Where my spirit recognizes their spirit and we hold the moment together.
Friday, July 12, 2013
Taos
June 16, 2013
Taos is amazing. There are so many local businesses and the primary theme is healing and spirituality. I understand why, it's so easy to feel the elation of divinity here. Connection to the source. Frank and I decided to not go to Albuquerque and stay here another day. We found a campsite near the river on the way up a mountain. All camping here is free and open, all they ask is to keep 200 ft away from the river. I feel like that's how it should be. Amazing.
After we got set up we went down to this beautiful rustic wine store. In the backyard there were swings facing the mountains. We also found a natural grocery store that juices and makes smoothies. As I was checking out I noticed these organic bars made locally in Taos and impulsively bought one, which proved delicious. Next stop, the top of a mountain! Today is going to consist of hiking, and possibly swimming.
Taos, I love you.
We went hiking up Yerba Canyon trail. It was a really nice hike, wore me out for sure. Getting back into nature, it brought back the year I lived in Boulder and went hiking with Brida. The trail here is different though, the trees tower over us.
We passed a couple and Frank asked if they'd made it to the peak, they said they've lived here for 5 years and never made it to the top. They said they just turn around when it stops being fun. They also warned us the weather can change abruptly up there. So, naturally I decided to not attempt the climb all the way to the summit... Frank on the other hand wasn't going to let anything deter him from his goal. As we progressed we ran into another hiker walking down the mountain. He had passed us up with all his fancy hiking gear a while ago and we asked him if he made it to the top. He said he had actually twisted his ankle on some loose gravel and had to make his way down... I took these things as signs, and it was getting steep and rocky. I also started to see some questionable clouds forming. So I told Frank I'd meet him at this big rock we had passed a ways back and he patted me on the shoulder and continued up the mountain. As I was walking down the mountain I passed a cool looking fellow with two sweet dogs. He had no shirt, long blond hair, a walking staff, and he was hiking up the mountain barefooted. I felt like I really wanted to talk to him, but let the moment pass. I made it to the big rock, read my book and contemplated how the divine feminine manifests herself in nature. It makes sense to me, being in nature is so nurturing and healing...
A little while later the same guy came walking down the mountain and passed me again, and again we didn't engage in conversation. Just then the wind started picking up swishing the tall thin trees around and I heard thunder. I figured Frank heard it too and would be on his way soon so I left the big rock and headed for the car. For the third time I ran into the barefooted forest elf man... but this time we got to talking. His name is Brooks, has lived in Taos for 5 years, moved there from Dallas. He works in Taos making organic energy bars, the same energy bars I ate that morning. It was a really cool coincidence, but there are no such thing as coincidences. He said if I'm ever in town to look him up again, not many people named Brooks in a small town like Taos. I didn't ask him about the lack of shoes. Maybe one day our paths will cross again and I'll take a good look at his calloused feet...
Taos is amazing. There are so many local businesses and the primary theme is healing and spirituality. I understand why, it's so easy to feel the elation of divinity here. Connection to the source. Frank and I decided to not go to Albuquerque and stay here another day. We found a campsite near the river on the way up a mountain. All camping here is free and open, all they ask is to keep 200 ft away from the river. I feel like that's how it should be. Amazing.
After we got set up we went down to this beautiful rustic wine store. In the backyard there were swings facing the mountains. We also found a natural grocery store that juices and makes smoothies. As I was checking out I noticed these organic bars made locally in Taos and impulsively bought one, which proved delicious. Next stop, the top of a mountain! Today is going to consist of hiking, and possibly swimming.
Taos, I love you.
We went hiking up Yerba Canyon trail. It was a really nice hike, wore me out for sure. Getting back into nature, it brought back the year I lived in Boulder and went hiking with Brida. The trail here is different though, the trees tower over us.
We passed a couple and Frank asked if they'd made it to the peak, they said they've lived here for 5 years and never made it to the top. They said they just turn around when it stops being fun. They also warned us the weather can change abruptly up there. So, naturally I decided to not attempt the climb all the way to the summit... Frank on the other hand wasn't going to let anything deter him from his goal. As we progressed we ran into another hiker walking down the mountain. He had passed us up with all his fancy hiking gear a while ago and we asked him if he made it to the top. He said he had actually twisted his ankle on some loose gravel and had to make his way down... I took these things as signs, and it was getting steep and rocky. I also started to see some questionable clouds forming. So I told Frank I'd meet him at this big rock we had passed a ways back and he patted me on the shoulder and continued up the mountain. As I was walking down the mountain I passed a cool looking fellow with two sweet dogs. He had no shirt, long blond hair, a walking staff, and he was hiking up the mountain barefooted. I felt like I really wanted to talk to him, but let the moment pass. I made it to the big rock, read my book and contemplated how the divine feminine manifests herself in nature. It makes sense to me, being in nature is so nurturing and healing...
A little while later the same guy came walking down the mountain and passed me again, and again we didn't engage in conversation. Just then the wind started picking up swishing the tall thin trees around and I heard thunder. I figured Frank heard it too and would be on his way soon so I left the big rock and headed for the car. For the third time I ran into the barefooted forest elf man... but this time we got to talking. His name is Brooks, has lived in Taos for 5 years, moved there from Dallas. He works in Taos making organic energy bars, the same energy bars I ate that morning. It was a really cool coincidence, but there are no such thing as coincidences. He said if I'm ever in town to look him up again, not many people named Brooks in a small town like Taos. I didn't ask him about the lack of shoes. Maybe one day our paths will cross again and I'll take a good look at his calloused feet...
Thursday, July 11, 2013
The Road to Taos
June 15, 2013
Day 4. Yesterday we woke up in Balmorhea and went swimming one last time. We packed up and headed towards Taos. On the open road driving through the desert we started heading into a huge ominous storm. The entire horizon was deep shades of grey and black being lit only by cracks of lightning. It was entirely against my instincts to drive head on into the dark abyss, but I found it in me to embrace the adventure.... It felt as though we were headed straight into the belly of the beast whose sole intention was to devour us and make us a part of its fluid darkness.
The wind picked up and the temperature dropped... then the rain came suddenly as if we crossed a line into a monsoon. Lightning, darkness, and angry rain surrounded us... Everything in upheaval around us, but we found liberation in letting go and rolling into the madness... and eventually it ended and the clouds dissipated, as they always do, and we were closer to our destination.
We made a last minute decision to make it to Santa Fe and stay the night there. We got a cheap hotel and a cheap bottle of wine and found a place in nature to sit, listen to music, and talk. We discovered a trench in the middle of nowhere that happened to have a piece of wood that we used as a table. We talked about magic, love, mystery, destiny... our perceptions of who and why we are who we are. I felt like the moon was smiling at us under the clouds and inspiring and blessing our conversation.
When it got cold we ventured back to our less than luxurious hotel room, both regretting not camping. We finished the wine and talked about ourselves more feeling uninhibited. It's the first time Frank opend up to me and discussed personal things about himself. I feel like we were able to reach a new level in our friendship. We were honest and open without fear of judgement from each other. It was almost like therapy, or detoxing emotionally. I look forward so much to getting to know him more and feel like the universe has its reasons for pairing us up for this trip. I think we are going to learn a lot from each other.
Today we went to this raw foods restaurant called Mama Pacha. The place was full of spiritual posters and healing herbs, barks, powerders and elixirs... things I've never heard of. The owner was still opening when we got there, floating around the shop going at his own pace with stillness and ease. I ordered the curry kelp noodles with veggies and raisins. It was the best raw food I've ever had, and I go to a lot of raw food places. I asked the owner if he had taken culinary classes and how he learned about how to make all these things, and he just replied with humility he just learned to do it himself and decided to open a shop one day... No experiencing owning a business. I got flooded with inspiration. Who says we need to spend a fortune getting a business degree or culinary degree to be successful? With passion anything is possible, and structured education has always dampened my passion. Meeting people like this, living easy and outside the box... full of simplicity and humility, reminds me I can do anything. You just learn how to do it.
On the way to Taos we passed amazing Earth Ship houses that looked like unique castles spawned purely from imagination. Again a reminder of what we are capable of doing with our lives and our reality. Soon we came upon a bunch of hippies selling their trades on the side of the road, seemingly random in the middle of the desert. We passed over a bridge and completely by surprise we saw the incredible and majestic Rio Grande gorge. The winding crystal clear river flowing steadily through. The energy here is so pure, I feel my heart being healed. It's as if the mountains and wind are sending me millions of years of love and wisdom. It ignites my soul with a deep and profound stillness and peace. Breathing it in, letting it permeate my being.
Entering Taos now.
Day 4. Yesterday we woke up in Balmorhea and went swimming one last time. We packed up and headed towards Taos. On the open road driving through the desert we started heading into a huge ominous storm. The entire horizon was deep shades of grey and black being lit only by cracks of lightning. It was entirely against my instincts to drive head on into the dark abyss, but I found it in me to embrace the adventure.... It felt as though we were headed straight into the belly of the beast whose sole intention was to devour us and make us a part of its fluid darkness.
The wind picked up and the temperature dropped... then the rain came suddenly as if we crossed a line into a monsoon. Lightning, darkness, and angry rain surrounded us... Everything in upheaval around us, but we found liberation in letting go and rolling into the madness... and eventually it ended and the clouds dissipated, as they always do, and we were closer to our destination.
We made a last minute decision to make it to Santa Fe and stay the night there. We got a cheap hotel and a cheap bottle of wine and found a place in nature to sit, listen to music, and talk. We discovered a trench in the middle of nowhere that happened to have a piece of wood that we used as a table. We talked about magic, love, mystery, destiny... our perceptions of who and why we are who we are. I felt like the moon was smiling at us under the clouds and inspiring and blessing our conversation.
When it got cold we ventured back to our less than luxurious hotel room, both regretting not camping. We finished the wine and talked about ourselves more feeling uninhibited. It's the first time Frank opend up to me and discussed personal things about himself. I feel like we were able to reach a new level in our friendship. We were honest and open without fear of judgement from each other. It was almost like therapy, or detoxing emotionally. I look forward so much to getting to know him more and feel like the universe has its reasons for pairing us up for this trip. I think we are going to learn a lot from each other.
Today we went to this raw foods restaurant called Mama Pacha. The place was full of spiritual posters and healing herbs, barks, powerders and elixirs... things I've never heard of. The owner was still opening when we got there, floating around the shop going at his own pace with stillness and ease. I ordered the curry kelp noodles with veggies and raisins. It was the best raw food I've ever had, and I go to a lot of raw food places. I asked the owner if he had taken culinary classes and how he learned about how to make all these things, and he just replied with humility he just learned to do it himself and decided to open a shop one day... No experiencing owning a business. I got flooded with inspiration. Who says we need to spend a fortune getting a business degree or culinary degree to be successful? With passion anything is possible, and structured education has always dampened my passion. Meeting people like this, living easy and outside the box... full of simplicity and humility, reminds me I can do anything. You just learn how to do it.
On the way to Taos we passed amazing Earth Ship houses that looked like unique castles spawned purely from imagination. Again a reminder of what we are capable of doing with our lives and our reality. Soon we came upon a bunch of hippies selling their trades on the side of the road, seemingly random in the middle of the desert. We passed over a bridge and completely by surprise we saw the incredible and majestic Rio Grande gorge. The winding crystal clear river flowing steadily through. The energy here is so pure, I feel my heart being healed. It's as if the mountains and wind are sending me millions of years of love and wisdom. It ignites my soul with a deep and profound stillness and peace. Breathing it in, letting it permeate my being.
Entering Taos now.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
The Beginning
(So, I'm actually writing this first entry about a month into my journey... but you know, inspiration be crazy!)
Frank and I left our home in Austin, Texas June 12, 2013. We planned this road trip approximately 2 months beforehand and watched in awe as all the pieces fell gracefully into place to enable us to embark on this adventure.We left together, both with a growing and persistent drive to remove ourselves from the confines of the structure of society. Not completely understanding the form of what I'm searching for, but understanding the craving for freedom and magic.
Our first stop in Balmorhea, TX to see the spring there and camp. On the way there, I was driving when we got lost and I started getting frustrated and impatient. We pulled over to check Frank's handy dandy atlas and he turned to me and said, "Hey.. you just gotta remember one thing... We're free." That statement would prove to be the theme for the adventures to follow.
I've been keeping a journal and have decided to type up my entries as they are written.... prepare yourself, things will be getting all kinds of existential in the entries that will eventually follow....
June 13, 2013 (first entry)
Sitting in Marfa, Tx right now. Dark Horse Saloon at around 5 p.m. waiting til it gets dark to see the famous Marfa lights. We were directed here from the town hipsters who had a mysterious white dog with mismatched eyes.
Day 2 on our journey and things couldn't be going better. I already feel the freedom from breaking away from my (old) life. With this freedom and time for introspection I also feel the lessons I'm going to learn and identifying things about myself I need to examine and move through.
Day 1
Got my car loaded to the brim with all my supplies and loooots of food! Went to pick up Frank and all the way to Balmorhea we had discussions about ALL THE THINGS. Driving and watching the land change from city, to country, to desert...
We made it to the campground and set up the tent in hurricane winds and the unforgiving desert sun. But it was totally worth it when we jumped into the cold beautiful spring. Desert oasis. Couldn't help but think of The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.
While swimming in the spring I noticed it is the exact same layout as my neighborhood pool I spent everyday swimming in during the summer growing up... Only a larger version. All of a sudden I was seeing through the perspective of a child. I think thats when I knew I'd have to conquer the diving board.
Snorkeling was amazing and hunting for "cannonballs" (round rocks at the bottom of the spring)... I'm so grateful I have a travel companion who is so down for playing like kids and using imagination. I feel more than ever our trip has endless possibilities.
We later met with some of Franks friends and their parents who were there on vacation. They're all such cool people, we hung out all night talking and laughing. We eventually fell asleep under the stars with the sound of crickets and coyotes.
The next day we went swimming first thing. There is a hole in the wall of the spring that feeds into a river... Naturally we decided to swim through it. It made me feel like Lara Croft from Tomb Raider. As we swam through the tunnel there was a school of fish hanging out in there that got startled by us. They swam our frantically into our faces, it was so beautiful and surreal. Soon after that we just lounged and read books til we started hearing thunder. On the horizon we saw a storm-a-brewing. We got our tent secure and went to a field to talk pictures of the storm on the hills and wait for the grey clouds to make their way to us. The lightning, clouds, and thunder was inspirational and calming at the same time. The wind picked up and the temperature changed... Everything about thunderstorms seem healing, but playful and mystical all at once.
Being free and in the Flow are the themes for this trip, and I feel myself severing the ties of attachment and expectations... more than I've been able to in a long time. Without obligation and responsibilities I'm free to revert back into my childlike awareness, but I've replaced the naivety of a child with true appreciation and joy. I appreciate freedom so much more and can embrace the moment and the magic with a better understanding and awareness of what that means. To let go into the mystery with an open heart is to allow the magic of the universe to conspire.
Now we're sitting in a dive bar where all the cowboys apparently go, and the bartender has an eye patch. Both Frank and I are having a drink and writing in our journals, respectively.
The beginning to something greater than a journey over land, it is the start of my journey into Spirit.
Frank and I left our home in Austin, Texas June 12, 2013. We planned this road trip approximately 2 months beforehand and watched in awe as all the pieces fell gracefully into place to enable us to embark on this adventure.We left together, both with a growing and persistent drive to remove ourselves from the confines of the structure of society. Not completely understanding the form of what I'm searching for, but understanding the craving for freedom and magic.
Our first stop in Balmorhea, TX to see the spring there and camp. On the way there, I was driving when we got lost and I started getting frustrated and impatient. We pulled over to check Frank's handy dandy atlas and he turned to me and said, "Hey.. you just gotta remember one thing... We're free." That statement would prove to be the theme for the adventures to follow.
I've been keeping a journal and have decided to type up my entries as they are written.... prepare yourself, things will be getting all kinds of existential in the entries that will eventually follow....
June 13, 2013 (first entry)
Sitting in Marfa, Tx right now. Dark Horse Saloon at around 5 p.m. waiting til it gets dark to see the famous Marfa lights. We were directed here from the town hipsters who had a mysterious white dog with mismatched eyes.
Day 2 on our journey and things couldn't be going better. I already feel the freedom from breaking away from my (old) life. With this freedom and time for introspection I also feel the lessons I'm going to learn and identifying things about myself I need to examine and move through.
Day 1
Got my car loaded to the brim with all my supplies and loooots of food! Went to pick up Frank and all the way to Balmorhea we had discussions about ALL THE THINGS. Driving and watching the land change from city, to country, to desert...
We made it to the campground and set up the tent in hurricane winds and the unforgiving desert sun. But it was totally worth it when we jumped into the cold beautiful spring. Desert oasis. Couldn't help but think of The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.
While swimming in the spring I noticed it is the exact same layout as my neighborhood pool I spent everyday swimming in during the summer growing up... Only a larger version. All of a sudden I was seeing through the perspective of a child. I think thats when I knew I'd have to conquer the diving board.
Snorkeling was amazing and hunting for "cannonballs" (round rocks at the bottom of the spring)... I'm so grateful I have a travel companion who is so down for playing like kids and using imagination. I feel more than ever our trip has endless possibilities.
We later met with some of Franks friends and their parents who were there on vacation. They're all such cool people, we hung out all night talking and laughing. We eventually fell asleep under the stars with the sound of crickets and coyotes.
The next day we went swimming first thing. There is a hole in the wall of the spring that feeds into a river... Naturally we decided to swim through it. It made me feel like Lara Croft from Tomb Raider. As we swam through the tunnel there was a school of fish hanging out in there that got startled by us. They swam our frantically into our faces, it was so beautiful and surreal. Soon after that we just lounged and read books til we started hearing thunder. On the horizon we saw a storm-a-brewing. We got our tent secure and went to a field to talk pictures of the storm on the hills and wait for the grey clouds to make their way to us. The lightning, clouds, and thunder was inspirational and calming at the same time. The wind picked up and the temperature changed... Everything about thunderstorms seem healing, but playful and mystical all at once.
Being free and in the Flow are the themes for this trip, and I feel myself severing the ties of attachment and expectations... more than I've been able to in a long time. Without obligation and responsibilities I'm free to revert back into my childlike awareness, but I've replaced the naivety of a child with true appreciation and joy. I appreciate freedom so much more and can embrace the moment and the magic with a better understanding and awareness of what that means. To let go into the mystery with an open heart is to allow the magic of the universe to conspire.
Now we're sitting in a dive bar where all the cowboys apparently go, and the bartender has an eye patch. Both Frank and I are having a drink and writing in our journals, respectively.
The beginning to something greater than a journey over land, it is the start of my journey into Spirit.
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